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full_metal_monkey
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Name: Carl
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Philadelphia
Birthday: 12/7/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: I like girls (when they don't talk) Full Metal Alchemist, Invader Zim, long walks on the beach, Inuyasha, Family Guy, ATHF, MGS:2 3, Soul Caliber, turtles, Morrowind, Halo, reading, sleeping, dreaming, listening, pizza, cheese, marbles, Winter, Samurai Champloo, Paranoia Agent, Fooly Cooly, My friends (sometimes), [adult-swim], The Band of Seven, Shaman KIng manga, One Piece manga, writing, manga, South Park, Harvey Birdman, Sea Lab, Xbox, Super Smash Bros, anatomy, biology, theology, psychology, Ghost In the Shell, the original Gundam, yelling, Outlaw Star, anime, The Shorties, me, and generaly being mean to people.
Expertise: I'm good at sleeping...and eating...and pissing people off...mainly sleeping...and eating...sometimes thinking...but mostly sleeping...and eating
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
4/19/2005
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| Is Thanksgiving. Its all about food. In my family this is the kinda food that would be served everyone once in awhile spread throughout the year. But on Thanksgiving its all that special food at once and yeah theres no presents but that just means you don't have to by shit and its not uber religious so you don't like a tool for celebrating it. In my family its always an interesting holiday to see how it will play out. Sometimes its good sometimes it bad but its a holiday that really makes us feel like a family without any of the pressures of being a family. Everyone helps with the cooking and we all eat so having contributed something we feel just as obligated as anyone else at the table to be able to enjoy the meal we helped prepare.
I got invited to several Thanksgivings this year but i turned them all down. I hope i didn't offend anyone but i don't feel like celebrating a holiday about family without my family or especially with someone else's family especially knowing my siblings don't have the same advantage. Its sort of like penitence, i would feel bad for having a good holiday and them not so i'll have a miserable one too, makes me feel closer to them. Jess wants to play Clue though so she invited me over for Clue and dessert. I can enjoy that much of the holiday i think. I miss my family though, not so much my dad, he can diaf, but i miss my sister and my brother and my mom. Can't really describing the sadness but i haven't felt this low in awhile. Jess will cheer me up though. Jess always cheers me up...
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| Gheycolors has been going through some stuff lately. The room got registered by this idiot who turned control over it to a slimeball who everyone hates so we all left. The new room then kept getting unwanted attention cause it was on the front page and with a name like Homocolors EVERYONE had to stop by and try to be clever sayings like "ya'll gay" and "you some gays" and asking questions like "is everyone in here gay?" we even had a guy who was trying to convert us or something with is poorly executed christian agenda. Any so the attention+ppl showing cock quickly meant it got shutdown. So we moved to a different room which also got shut down. So now we're back to a hidden room and things are going ok. The crowd isn't really good though, then again it was never good but the people who stay on late at night when the room gets quieter are really nice and fun. Now that i have WoW time though i only go on really late. They're worth visiting at night though, the internet is an amazing communicative tool i know people from all over the country, the world practically and i've never seen met them.
Trying for that UPS job again. Fingers crossed. Tony moved out of his place into an apt with some friends. Kevin, matt, and toby are trying to get their own place. They're having some bumps and it might not get off the ground but such is life right. Either way i really think its time i was living on my own again. I miss not having shame or dignity and falling asleep on whatever surface i liked. Soon carl...soon. Not much else to report on. Shamans are hardwork, you shouldn't need so many applications just to figure out whats best. But if i didn't have to do all this junk i'd probably be bored...
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| Hmmm..what makes it a curry...did you use curry powder...what makes you think Indians use it. Important thing to remember. I don't have the skill, knowledge, or materials to make home made curry spices but thats besides the point. I think its a great metaphor for life. You think that just because you have something the resembles something you can call it that. He used curry powder and the thought that made it a curry. That did not make it curry though as the other man told him. I live in a house but that does not make it my home, etc. The same goes in reverse i guess. Im not going to get into a big thing about this it just thought it was a very interesting sentence and i want to remember it...the guys voice and accent made it sound really nice.
I helped the guys clean up their new house. The place was a wreck and probably still is a wreck. But there was potential there if they could coax it out. Really it just need alot of cleaning, some new carpet, and some new paint. We cleaned up alot of shit, it says alot when you walk into an empty house and end up filling up 6 or 7 trash bags. That place really was a wreck. I knew the monahans didn't like that house but you could really feel it by the state they left it in. It had an air of such neglect, almost like they subconsciously did everything they could to make that house shitty in act of defiance against it. Maybe im reading into it too much but that's what it felt like while i was cleaning up dust that had sat for so long it turned to slime. Anyway so the place looked a helluva lot better after we did alot of cleaning. Remove the carpet to change the odor and the place looks decent imo. I think a new paint job could really do wonders to that place. Colors affect atmosphere more than most people (or men) realize. A fresh coat of paint on the window sills would help remove the aged look and some fresh paint in the living and dining area could really brighten up the room alot. Also curtains help. Potential is really there but i dunno if any of them could really bring it out cept maybe M.Knight. He has an eye for these sorts of things.
Also his level of maturity with the entire ordeal has been impressive. He's staying grounded, realistic, and pragmatic. There is a process and a certain attitude that must be maintained when dealing with a project like this and the people that come with it. He's taking it very well and still seeing what needs to be done without getting overexcited about the whole ordeal where he would rush something or make a mistake. He's a quality guy that one. There is potential there too. Also theres a girl in the castle. That's all i kept thinking every time i saw Courtney. She fits into everything surprising well, almost frighteningly well. She's more toby/matt geared though than Kevin/Me geared imo. Thats not a groundbreaking difference though cause theres more than enough common ground between us all. Matt really deserves her, he's never struck me as a bad guy when it comes to women just unlucky mostly. If he effs this up though i'll never let him live it down. Good girls are hard to find and she's a keeper but it'll only last as long as it can.
I made Lamb with curry rice last week. It wasn't real curry rice, i used curry powder and the lamb dish was missing a couple things like cream and some fresh spices but i did th ebest with what i had and i think it all turned out good. Except the rice. The rice was ok but the curry powder has a bad aftertaste. I think cream would've helped alot. The lamb tasted different from what im used to. I remember it having the flavor of roast beef but much richer. This time it had a very unique flavor, i don't really describe it but it took some getting used to and the way i cooked it not all the fat got as cooked as i want it to be but to cook it anymore would've over cooked it. I guess i could pan seared it afterwards. Keep that in mind though, the flavor was different but you liked it, gamey is the world that comes to mind though i know that doesn't do it justice. I really wonder how amazing it would've turned out if i had access to all fresh ingredients. Anyway i made a roast chicken this week. Nothing special just usual spice+mayo. Tonys uncle recomenned that awhile ago and i was surprised how well it worked out. I've been using it whenever i roast chicken ever since. The roasting time i used was off and the chicken was undercooked when i first pulled it out. 20 min on 450 40 min on 400+15-20ish more min on 400. I'll hve to remember that for next time.
still no job..still looking...
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| Thats a line from a song which got the line from Batman. Apparently a mob boss tells that to the Joker before bad shit goes down, it was a lie but the Joker believed it. The artist who made the song thought it was a great line because the Joker later uses it right before he sends a good henchman to his doom, irony wrapped in irony. It got me thinking about friendship. You call people your friends but what does that mean. Does it come with expectations? Is there a level of standards? What makes a person more than just some guy/girl you hang with?
Im in a bit of a rut right now and a few people have tried to help me out and i find myself very surprised by their actions. Im not sure if im just their next good deed or if its just sympathy or even empathy. One of them said something along the lines of "I've been in your situation before, i was stuck in a rut and the only way out was if someone helped pull me out of it." So confused. I was raised on the idea that you are alone in life and the only person you can and should depend on is yourself. Even though the man who drilled that mercilessly into my head also stressed the importance of family he quickly made me realize that family was just as unreliable as anyone else. I wondered if i would do the same for this friend. The answer was immediately yes but why would i do the same. Would it be because it was the "right" thing to do or because i genuinely wanted to him out. In Wicked, Maguire portrays Dorothy as a kind giving girl but says her acts were kind of cheap, as if they were just the next good deed to be done on her string of doing good deeds. Even acts of kindness can seem a bit cheap if they don't come from the right place. And yet i seem to be surrounded by acts of kindness. I have a friend whose family refuses to let me leave without a meal not because they take pity on me but because they just care like that. I have a friend who is letting me live in his house without having a job. I have friends who have stuck themselves out there trying to get me jobs. These acts don't seem like the next good deed in their string of good deeds...
Maybe the pessimistic cynic that was built up long ago can come down for a bit. The defenses needed to survive an inattentive father are probably not needed to survive life. You can only say thank you so many times. There is a lesson in this, something i can grow from. I'll think about it some more and take what i can. I think it'll make me a better person.
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| I miss school so much. I miss the pressure and the routine. I miss learning and growing. When i finally get out of this mess i am in im never going to stop learning ever again QQ. Ah well. I had a phone interview awhile back with the place, Integral Molecular. They wanted a lab technician with basically my experience so i thought it would be a great oppurtunity. They were a mostly biology place and i didn't do the research i should've. I was unprepared and nervous and i think it showed. It would've been such a sweet job to have. Live and learn but i really hate these lessons. Always be prepared for interviews even if they're over the phone. Well not i have an interview with UPS next week and septa is on strike or some shit so it might not even happen. The universe conspires to destroy me. I'll find a way there though. Its not a job im looking forward to but i don't really have a choice. I'll keep searching. Maybe i'll get lucky with craigslist again. The pork turned out great. Nice and juice and i worked the remaining juice into a glaze, dunno how well its gonna play with the cheese though, i should've gone with normal blue, i think its tangier.
Trying to find new music. mostly using pitchfork, they're a bit elitist and everything they write comes off snobby to me but they find some good things sometimes. Also i discovered video chat rooms. I don't have a webcam but i can talk to ppl. Its like going on a forum. Depending on the time of day the ppl are either really cool or really immature b-tards. I'll keep going till something else drags my attention away. They're gay rooms which is a good change of pace, when they aren't being /b/tards they're pretty nice which is good to know. Even i have my stereotypes about gay people. With sterotypes comes a bit of self loathing. At least thats always been the case with me. If your skin color is the first thing ppl notice and they see it as a negative thing even if you know they're just morons it leaves like a little mark and they build up after time. It makes you bitter, jaded, and misantropic and those negative energies eventually take root and start to become your basis. I don't want that to happen to me about anything, skin color, sexuality religion or the lacktherof. But some ppl. I just heard that they banned gay marriage in Maine. But its not just that they banned it but before the ban gay couples still got all the rights of married couples, it just wasn't called marriage. But now they took all that away. People will go to extremes to make other peoples lives miserable. I don't see how people can do that once they realize that almost everyone is just someone else trying to get by. A lack of god means that you must find hope and purpose in more tangible things. Even if you find it in yourself if you see that the rest of the world is just shittily trying to bring you down you can't help but lose faith in everything...
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